Music and Metaphor - Chapter 8 - An Exercise in Using Figurative Language

An Exercise in Using Figurative Language
A. Creating effective similes:
1. In his rage my father would bang on the wall like a woodpecker frantically looking for food.
2. Among her new in-laws the young wife was as nervous as a potential employee sitting through an interview with a disconcerting employer.
3. I paced the room as restless as a mother waiting to find the outcome of her child’s surgery.
4. Like a soufflé during an earthquake, his smile suddenly collapsed.
5. It was the old sycamore in the front yard swaying like a couple during a slow dance.

B. Creating evocative images:
1. I loved the subtle scent of Tide, and the seeming symmetry of the wash on the line in the summer morning.
2. I was afraid of his lifeless eyes, his slurred speech, and his drunken, ungainly walk.(I really had trouble with #2; I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be trying to capture.)
3. I will not forget the quivering tentativeness of your lips, your skin’s scent of Dove soap, or the bloodshot lines in the middle of your eyes.
4. She wished to draw me deeper into the frightening, chaotic, turmoil of her life.



C. Linguistic invention
1. It desperately wanted to tell the new owners about its glorious past. How it had been a showcase for parties featuring men and women dressed in their finery, and how it had served as a temporary residence for James Madison after he left the White House. Instead, all it could do was moan as it listened to the complaints about “the sorry state of this decrepit, old mansion.”
2. It sat in the junkyard; just one of hundreds of rusting, unwanted cars. Its once gleaming chrome now dull and tarnished. It’s once soft, supple leather seats, now ripped and ruined.
3. The sun beamed brightly on the majestic potted palm. The fronds seemed to almost follow the light as it moved across the plant throughout the day. Its joyous nature belied the fact that it was desperate for water, and it wondered how much longer it would, or could, go without that vital fluid.
4. The kitchen was a cacophony of chopping and cutting. Smells, both sweet and savory, emanated from the ovens. Everyone working there was wearing white.
5. As soon as she saw the sparkling earrings, all sense of right and wrong vanished. She looked around nervously hoping to find any hidden cameras, and hoping to avoid the store detective. Her heartbeat raced as she slid the jewelry off the post and slowly put it in her pocket. At once, she moved both quickly and slowly to the exit. She finally felt herself breath as she got out the door.

Instructor Feedback
The music of language and clarity is what this assignment is all about. Nice work. --Gary