The Missing of You Hurts
O you who were there all the time
to show how much you truly cared,
so that I knew you'd evermore be true,
and gladden my heart like the sun-kissed clime
The main idea I got out of the reading is that the poem should not seem like a poem. It should seem more conversational. By that, I mean more like something someone would say rather than something someone might write. I'll confess it's hard for me to look at love poems (even well written ones) and not gag. I like to think of myself as a romantic person, but I think a lot of my romanticism is expressed by actions, not words. So, my attempt my rival the original author's for "badness". Anyway, I would change the title and the first stanza to the following:
Now That You’re Gone
You always seemed to know when I needed you.
Your words, spoken and unspoken made me feel
safe, and I guess I took it for granted that
you would always be around.
Instructor Feedback
Edit. Edit. Edit. And more editing. That's how we trim our writing, how we make it concise, how we prepare it for readers. --Gary
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment