Music and Metaphor - Let's Write a Poem

More Than I Thought I Got

My father, standing in front of his boat
holding a large trout, is smiling
as four of his friends look on
admiringly.

I used to be jealous of my father’s
friends, because
I could not develop the kind of relationship
he had with them.
Things he enjoyed, I was never interested in; probably because
never took the time to expose me to any of them.

Time passes and our interactions devolve into one blow-up
after another.
I move out and focus on my own life;
But I’m still bitter at all the things I felt
he never gave me. We go months without
saying a word to each other.

Gone. My anger has diminished since
his passing. My love of learning,
my passion for things I enjoy, my sense of humor.
All came from him. Thanks Dad.

Instructor Feedback
Some thoughts while reading your poem, Jim: 2nd stanza, last line: "he" is needed; your last stanza is powerful and raw!! That's how it's done!! Every word counts 100% and nothing else is needed. That said, how can you get the other stanzas to be as chiseled and perfect?? --Gary